I fucking hate myself.
I really do.
Fucking hell.
Fuck.
Why the hell am I even on here.
Aw, gog damnit.
Jegus Kryst
FUCKING MISERY OF THE DAMN HEAVENS AND KICK IT ALL TO HELL.
/rant
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Drabble Me
Warning: Perhaps mature content
A Deep Occurrence
John paced up and down, jiggling his chest. His very good friend, Mary Sue Gun, had arranged to meet him here in a chair. "I have something cryptic to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Gun was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, John expected to see her bounce up, her perfect hair streaming behind her and her seductive eyes aglow.
John heard footsteps, but they seemed rather sparkling for a delicate and grand girl like Mary Sue Gun, whose tread was intelligent. He turned around and found Sherlock staring at him.
"What are you doing here?" Sherlock said cheerfully. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
John had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so knowingly. "Mary Sue Gun asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Sherlock, his arm began to throb carefully.
"Oh," Sherlock said, awesomely. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," John said and caught Sherlock by his forehead. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Sherlock said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like the satisfaction received from solving a case..
From behind a shadow, Mary Sue Gun watched with a beautiful light in her crystaline eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "John/Sherlock". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the eagle from extinction.
(I'm serious. I don't want to get in trouble for causing you brain damage.)
Drabble Me is amazing.
To Carefully Solve
John and Sherlock were celebrating a cryptic Valentine's Day together. John had cooked a deep dinner and they ate in a chair by candlelight.
"My darling," Sherlock said, stroking John's chest, "I have something for you." He gave a box to John. "It is but an intelligent token of my crystaline love."
John opened the box. Inside was a seductive gun! He gazed at it awesomely. Then he gazed at Sherlock awesomely. "It's beautiful," John said. "Come here and let me solve you."
Just then, a perfect crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like the satisfaction received from solving a case.. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a grand voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Sherlock read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other knowingly as the crone cackled some more. John's arm began to tremble. Then Sherlock shrugged, pulled out a mystery, and hit the crone on her forehead. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" John said and kissed Sherlock cheerfully. "This is a sparkling Valentine's Day!"
They sexily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they cracked each other all night long.
John and Sherlock were celebrating a cryptic Valentine's Day together. John had cooked a deep dinner and they ate in a chair by candlelight.
"My darling," Sherlock said, stroking John's chest, "I have something for you." He gave a box to John. "It is but an intelligent token of my crystaline love."
John opened the box. Inside was a seductive gun! He gazed at it awesomely. Then he gazed at Sherlock awesomely. "It's beautiful," John said. "Come here and let me solve you."
Just then, a perfect crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like the satisfaction received from solving a case.. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a grand voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Sherlock read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other knowingly as the crone cackled some more. John's arm began to tremble. Then Sherlock shrugged, pulled out a mystery, and hit the crone on her forehead. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" John said and kissed Sherlock cheerfully. "This is a sparkling Valentine's Day!"
They sexily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they cracked each other all night long.
Story 2
A Shadow In Time
On an intelligent and beautiful morning, John sat in a chair. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His arm ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Sherlock to love someone with a grand forehead?
Cheerfully, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a seductive perfect mystery, all on a summer's day. I wish my Sherlock would solve me, in his own crystaline way..."
"Do you?" Sherlock sat down beside John and put his hand on John's chest. "I think that could be arranged."
John gasped sexily. "But what about my grand forehead?"
"I like it," Sherlock said carefully. "I think it's sparkling."
They came together and their kiss was like the satisfaction received from solving a case..
"I love you," John said knowingly.
"I love you too," Sherlock replied and cracked him.
They bought an eagle, moved in together, and lived awesomely ever after.
On an intelligent and beautiful morning, John sat in a chair. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His arm ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Sherlock to love someone with a grand forehead?
Cheerfully, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a seductive perfect mystery, all on a summer's day. I wish my Sherlock would solve me, in his own crystaline way..."
"Do you?" Sherlock sat down beside John and put his hand on John's chest. "I think that could be arranged."
John gasped sexily. "But what about my grand forehead?"
"I like it," Sherlock said carefully. "I think it's sparkling."
They came together and their kiss was like the satisfaction received from solving a case..
"I love you," John said knowingly.
"I love you too," Sherlock replied and cracked him.
They bought an eagle, moved in together, and lived awesomely ever after.
Story 3
A Deep Occurrence
John paced up and down, jiggling his chest. His very good friend, Mary Sue Gun, had arranged to meet him here in a chair. "I have something cryptic to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Gun was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, John expected to see her bounce up, her perfect hair streaming behind her and her seductive eyes aglow.
John heard footsteps, but they seemed rather sparkling for a delicate and grand girl like Mary Sue Gun, whose tread was intelligent. He turned around and found Sherlock staring at him.
"What are you doing here?" Sherlock said cheerfully. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
John had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so knowingly. "Mary Sue Gun asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Sherlock, his arm began to throb carefully.
"Oh," Sherlock said, awesomely. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," John said and caught Sherlock by his forehead. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Sherlock said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like the satisfaction received from solving a case..
From behind a shadow, Mary Sue Gun watched with a beautiful light in her crystaline eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "John/Sherlock". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the eagle from extinction.
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