disduff.

I dunno.

Sigh

I really need to stop using the reverse of dog damnit though.

Nrrr, dun feel like being smart today,

Or why the hell I'm writing on here.

Listening to Cascade by the Hussie man and everyone who made it.

Fucking miracles man.

Hm, I wonder if my cause of creating psycho characters is because I want to be psycho too.

Yum, wine

Welp, my dad took me and my bro to a family friend dinner, and there, I drank a full glass of wine and peach margarita.

It tasted good, except for the fact it was a little, bitter?

And I didn't get drunk. o:

Mebbe I inherited my mom's genes for that.

I still don't like the taste of beer tho.

Summer

mmmmsummer starts. Guess I'll be alone for a while.

Voice

That voice is nagging, annoying, but tormenting.

The voice that's always negative, the little "bringing you down" voice.

It tells me it's not so, that it's only there to protect me.

I can't admit anything to myself anymore.

Day 1

Sooooooo, I've decided to uhm, diet fasting thing.

Yeah.

Apparently it's not good for kids BUT SCREW IT. I'm gonna lose weight. >:O

Starting at 70.4 kg.

In 3 weeks, to 67.4kg

My goal is that low. =w=;

And then there were dreams

All right, I think I'll do my BEST to keep a somewhat dream diary thing ON the net.

Eh, heck, no one reads this anyway.

So, first thing I'll start off with is a dream I had or simple "No dream" or my feelings if I can't remember.

Yeah

As of Feb. 23, 2011

This is YESTERDAY'S dream. Feb. 22, 2011

So anyway, there was a lady who was longing for a lost love. Yeah. He went off for some reason who knows what. Lady marries another guy, who she loves, but also longs for the lost love a bit.

Anyway, the lady goes into a forest and finds a baby girl in a wicker basket. Takes her home and whatnot.

Girl grows up to be robust and mischievous, and other kids tend to pick on her because she looks quite weird. Green eyes, black bluish hair, sharp nails. There is this shy boy that likes to tag along though.

Somehow the two get into a shrine, the girl crashes into something, and since the deity that lives in that shrine can't curse her for some reason, makes a white wall spring around the area, where the girl is trapped outside. The town is cursed for 32 years to live in stopped time.

Hmm, so something years later, a lone man comes to the village, finds the walls, and is attacked by the girl, who acts feral now. They team up and breaks de cursey.

Man turns out to be lost love. :D But lady gives him up because her husband is a good person, and the man is too restless to stay. But they share a tender moment.

Girl and man go some where together.

Today's dream was something about swimming and being happy-like while grinding my face into cement because the pool is too shallow. xD

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

So I'm an Aries/Taurus now.

Personally, I think Taurus fits me better. Especially the fits of anger thing. I'm not a leader, like in Aries.

Then again signs aren't the determiners of how you go.

Uhm, nothing to talk about.

I'm so selfish though....

Sad thingy

*shrugs*

Read this at a fast pace? It's meant to be read like that

Why do I care?

Why should I care?

In this everlasting darkness

Not even penetrated by the light

The world is cold and lonely

There's nothing left for me

As i wander by the sea

I could see you and me

Why do they keep coming back?

It's not like as if they're important

But my stupid heart, which I thought was stone

Always lets me get lost in that black

It's pouring, it's crying, it's screaming, it's wailing

It comforts me in a way

The way the wild winds are screaming

The way the rains shroud me and drain away the pain

It's like shedding a skin

One old and rotten

Not even my kin

Will be able to understand this feeling of forgotten

all I do is wander

'Til my feet has grown sore

My eyesight stopped by liquid fire

Which is water at its core

I'm infuriated, I'm sorrowful, doubt, blinded by my pain

There was loss, and no gain

My time alone is back, but with a negative drain

You know me not, but i do know you

Feeling as if I've been played by a fool

Let me be aloof, so I won't lose

Into these feelings of mortality

The heart breaks in two, a broken bird sings

It repeats over and over 'Memories'

By chance, or maybe Fate's cruel trick

We collide, unable to turn away

The way you act, any parrot can mimic

I know you know me not, like I've been driven

And crashed, left on the side of the road

And left to rust, a wreck, a mess

In those empty eyes, I see no sign of me

Well, you'll only human I can see

We bicker, we push, we snarl, we hate

We despair, we dramatize, we yell at Fate

Doused in fire, frozen over in ice

Memories fade away, all just a game

The throw of the dice chooses our ways

If this is how we are played, then

I refuse to play

I turn my back on you that day

Let everything fade

Let the colors die into grey

Let this cold bite take my breath away

Let the ice take the feeling away

Let my heart fly free out of its broken cage

Let this moment be washed by the rain

I am no more.

This is depressing. o_o